


Lose You To Love Me

by captainbr1ck



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Allergies, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Military, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Angst, Catra being gay for adora, F/F, Fluff, High School, Modern Era, Rated T for swearing, adora being a bitch, do not try this at home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21646582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainbr1ck/pseuds/captainbr1ck
Summary: Where Catra joins a camp . . .. . . for Adora
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 61





	Lose You To Love Me

Catra wasn’t known for being the most athletic person out there. In fact, she’d consider herself someone who belonged at the bottom ten percent of those who enjoyed getting sweaty, rough-playing and most of all, exercising. She thought of herself more of as a lithe, flexible and elastic kind of person, the type of person who enjoyed scaling around the environment jumping from wall to wall instead of getting all too close to the enemy.

So when she joins this _military camp_ their school has on going, she knows she’s in for a bunch of things she wouldn’t enjoy. As to why she joined in the first place, Catra didn’t know. _Maybe I need to get out of my shell, explore new things and meet new people,_ she thought, unsure if her reasons were enough to justify this whole new chapter in her life. Contrary to what most would assume, no, she definitely not join for the sake of seeing Adora command the other cadets in that tough voice of hers.

_Adora…_

The blonde ran past her and towards another flight of people, the side of her head dripping with sweat. Catra continued to march in place, her steps in sync with the people around her. _Left, right, left, right…_

“Sir, they’re all accounted for, sir,” she heard the blonde report, her gaze set straight on the officer before her. “The other cadets in the medic station...Lonnie’s taking care of them just fine”

The officer, a boy much older than they were, nodded calmly before shooting Adora a satisfied look. 

“Dismissed,” he mumbled. Adora took a step back before giving the officer a salute, an act Catra had seen her do countless times before, and retrieving her hand once he had returned her gesture. 

It was then did they make eye contact, Adora sauntering over to her own flight whilst stealing glances at Catra from the corner of her eye. She, on the other hand, wasn’t sure if Adora had really been looking at her or not, and therefore decided to muster up all her attention into doing her task. Well, she tried, anyway.

Adora shot her an amused stare, her lips curling up into a smirk at the sight of Catra trying so hard at such a simple task. Catra furrowed her eyebrows, squinting at the blonde in confusion. Surely, Adora wasn’t staring at her?

The blonde continued what Catra thought to be “eye-batting” for about five seconds before turning towards the flight of cadets in front of her, much to Catra’s dismay. She watched as her friend steadied her breath, fists clenching at the seam of her tapered pants before she let out a deep, booming command. Those of who she had commanded struggled to follow through with the blonde’s commands, but nevertheless coming to do so just minutes later.

Catra, on the other hand, had suddenly forgotten how to use her legs and had been marching off beat, her mind unable to focus. She thought back to how Adora had sounded, how her voice took an authoritative tone in the blink of an eye. She couldn’t help the blush that crept onto her face the moment images of Adora looking all intimidating and strict sunk in. Soon enough, she had to double back on her steps at least eight times before finally being in sync with the others, and even that wasn’t good enough. 

From the corner of her eye, she spotted the blonde glancing at her again. Turning her head to the left slightly, Catra watched as Adora sent a wink her way. Her brain stopped functioning, and that’s what did it. With a whirl, Catra stumbled on her own pace and had bumped into the cadet beside her, _Kyle, was it?_

“Catra!”

The girl in question snapped her attention to the source of the voice, barely recovered from her mishap, before widening her eyes in embarrassment. 

“Catra,” the voice roared, turning out to have belonged to an officer, “Is that what a Horde soldier looks like? Such disgrace, and to think we let someone like you in a refined program such as ours!”

Catra winced, the words hitting her blow by blow. Shadow Weaver had a distaste for her in the past, yet this to her seemed like the melting point. 

From the corner of her eye, she noticed how Adora’s initial laughter slowly left her features, replaced by pity, a look Catra was clearly not a fan of. 

“Sir, sorry, sir,” she heard herself mutter, her line of sight never leaving Adora, the highlight on her cheeks caused by her feelings for Adora slowly fading into one of pure resentment. 

“I don’t know what I’m ever going to do with the likes of you,” Shadow Weaver commented before shooting Catra one more disapproving look, “Dismissed. Don’t show your face here for the rest of the day”

Head hung low, Catra balled her hands into fists, her pent up anger radiating all over her. Not bothering to mend the situation, she motioned to leave without the proper reply, earning another look of disbelief from the officers watching. Turning her back as she left for the exit, Catra locked eyes with Adora and sent her one last accusatory glare before finally stalking off to the parking lot.

Maybe joining wasn’t a good idea after all

* * *

  
  
  


Catra ran a steady pace before her gut decided to scream : _Stop, at once!_

A tradition passed down in the system, every cadet was required to run around the school together with his/her flight in hopes of accomplishing the first task of that day. Today, they were going to have to stay in campus overnight, the day full of physical exhaustion in store. This run was not the usual, however, for there were occasional pit stops which required you to exercise in the most draining way possible. Clearly, whoever set this all up was up to no good.

And who else was fitting enough to lead what others believed to be called the _Death March_ than Adora, the fittest cadet in the wing?

“C’mon, Glimmer, you can do it!” Adora exclaimed from her spot in front of everyone else, the exhaustion in her face invisible despite the circumstances, “-you too, Bow!”

“Adora, slow dooown,” the girl in a pink bandana drawled out, the situation clearly not doing it for her. Catra spectated the two girls talking, ignoring the hurtful sensation that pooled in her throat. “Not all of us are as fit as you!”

The blonde laughed, all her focus pressed on her companion. The boy on her left laughed in unison, throwing his head back as he completed jogging around another flight of stairs, “You know what, ‘dora? This is kinda fun, now that I think about it. Glad we could join this...Fright Zone activity. Surely, Brightmoon could use something similar ”

“Really?” the blonde piped up. “That wasn’t what you said over EtheriaChat last night”

Catra decided to keep jogging, the pain in her side helping her distract herself from the sight of Adora with Sparkles and Crop Top.

She..she wasn't _jealous . . ._

* * *

  
  


So when there had been an obstacle course later on in the day, Catra had what, second, third, fourth thoughts of joining the program? Not only was she tired, but mentally done with everything as well. She watched as each cadet dove into a heap of mud before emerging all dirty and withered. Catra decided she wouldn’t be joining this time, allergies and all.

Satisfied with her decision, she walked over to the sidelines where the rest of the allergy stricken individuals settled before--

“Watch this!”

Catra spun around only to see Adora attempt the obstacle course herself, only to emerge victorious and not at all filthy looking despite the amounts of mud that clung to her shirt. She decided to stare at the blonde as her jogging pants clung to her legs, her shirt clinging dangerously close to her skin. The moment Adora’s shirt decided to lift itself the moment she crawled out of the rifle relay, Catra could’ve sworn her face was as red as a tomato after simply just _looking._

Cheers erupted from the crowd while the boys hollered and the girls faux fainted over Adora’s take on the course, and Catra herself did not look so fine in the head either.

“I’m going for it,” Catra announced, only loud enough for her friend Scorpia to hear. 

“What?”

“I’m going to head back,” she reiterated, trying to furiously swipe the redness that had accumulated on her ears right off while walking towards the direction to which everyone was lined up for the course.

“Catra, you’re allergic!”

She went and did it anyway, satisfied at the look she had earned from Adora right after, a mixture of awe and what seemed to be pride.

For the first time that day, Catra smiled.

* * *

She did not sleep well that night. Her nose twitched and shook every ten seconds whilst her head throbbed in pain. Shuffling on the cold floor beneath her, Catra attempted to wrap herself in her blanket only to have it pulled on by the person beside her. 

_Shit, allergies._

  
  


She tossed and turned that night, at the same time trying to get sleep and protect her bandana from the officers who patrolled the perimeters, the cloth wrapped around her head and tucked into her hand for an extra measure. 

Never

Never was she going near any grass again

  
  


* * *

  
  


There was something miniscule about the way people expect something when really, there is nothing there to expect. Catra hadn’t been expecting to be appointed a position right after camp ended, the fact that she hardly took training seriously was something even she knew herself. Eyes shut, she didn’t know what was the feeling that overwhelmed her then, the way her throat constricted and how her eyes stung at the edges. 

Her name was never called, and despite knowing deep down that it was to be expected, she couldn’t help but let out a sniffle. Her eyebags seemed heavier than usual, her breathing uneven for reasons besides her apparent illness. 

She didn’t know what it was that made the tears fall that very second. 

Maybe it was because people who were even worse off than she could ever be got what they did not deserve. In her head, it was a result of foolish disbelief at the turn of events because really, things weren’t supposed to get this bad.

Everything was a blur, really. One second, the remaining few who were left had been told to disperse, then before she knew it, Kyle, Entrapta, everyone--

They hugged her.

Catra wasn’t the type who enjoyed physical contact, no, never in a million years would she have condoned something like this to happen.

This time, though, maybe it was okay.

  
  


* * *

  
  


With one hand gripping her backpack, she walked out of the campgrounds with the rest of the gang, all of them heading home after what turned out to be one of the most draining 30-hours of her life. 

“Cheer up, Wildcat,” she heard Scorpia say, the other girl’s voice a much sadder indention of her usual chippy tone. “I think you did great”

Catra wasn’t sure if she laughed, nodded, or just ignored the taller girl all together. Her thoughts drifted to Adora, remembering the look on her face the moment she had earned a position. Truthfully, Catra knew her eyes were to remain shut, yet they had opened on instinct at the mention of the blonde’s name, the familiar pang sinking down her chest.

If anything, Catra joined the whole military thing on impulse. This impulse, however, overridden by desire, fluttering feelings she would never admit.

_I want to be Force Captain,_ Adora had said that day. _I’d love it if you were by my side even then, Catra_

Catra knew then that she wanted to stand by the blonde, assist her, be there for her.

Even if it meant being _second_ in command. 

Adora got what she wanted, Catra on the other hand, couldn’t feel more crappy than she already did. She didn’t hold any grudges against who did eventually become Adora’s second in command, this however, didn’t seem to ease the neverending pain that refused to subside in her chest.

Despite how good this new person may be-

She wasn’t Catra. 

And Catra...she wasn’t her either.

Heaving out a sigh, she marched towards the exit, stealing a painful glance at Adora who seemed to be busy conversing with other cadets, congratulating them for their efforts. She watched as the blonde’s eyes glittered all sorts of emotions: pride, joy

None of which she felt at the moment.

She’d be lying if she said she didn’t expect the Force Captain to approach her, tell her something, _anything_

That never happened.

“Catra, you coming?”

The girl in question glanced between her friends and the girl she had been watching for the past minute, the girl she wished would tell her that: _Hey, you did great_

Her breath uneven whilst her knees throbbed with pain, Catra decided to push these emotions down her system, hoping they’d stay buried.

She left

* * *

And a month following that? 

Adora . . . she . . 

_She left too_

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> To those of you wondering, I will not be continuing that Helena Klein fanfic.
> 
> p.s this fic was kinda based on personal experienc-


End file.
